I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
