i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
