that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
