My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize