We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
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So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
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When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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