Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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