the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
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He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
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Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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