He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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