I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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