You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
