You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Houston, we have a blender
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Vodka?
Forever.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
