So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
