She's JV to your varsity
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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