I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
