I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Drake has all the answers
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize