he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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