Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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