Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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