So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize