You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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