8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
