Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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