She's JV to your varsity
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
