Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real