my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country