Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
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Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
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I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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