I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
