i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
