Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
