I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
