he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize