is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
