my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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