Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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