i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
