Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...