Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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