I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
