you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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