ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize