if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
