i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
These tits shall not be calmed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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