My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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