I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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