He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
