she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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