Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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