fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I have feelings that need drinking.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
