How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
