I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour