I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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