Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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