My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Pooping to opera.
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