I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
