remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
