There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
