So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
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So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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